November 8th
After five days of a throat infection,
I'm going menthol.
November 10th
A projectile sneeze just launched a half
sucked lozenge in to full flight across the length of the bus. I may need to be
wrapped in police 'crime scene' tape and sent to bed.
November 13th
According to the train announcement, the
next station will be 'Blaaam Blaaaa'.
November 15th
Last time I was on this train I got
stuck in the toilet for over an hour. This time round, my legs are firmly
crossed.
Later on November 15th
There's a lady on the train with a big
red bag full of wrapped up Christmas presents. Slightly portly but no beard.
Even later on November 15th
Almost elbowed a man in the face whilst
attempting to open a stubborn packet of Golden Wonders' Ready Salted.
Later still on November 15th
Third and final train of the day. Sat on
a flip down chair in the vestibule with a young woman who is angrily listening
to Techno music.
November 18th
Up all night with a sickness bug! No sp#wing or sh$tting on the bus!
November 21st
I am on a bus that I used to frequent
about two years ago. It is surprising to see all the same faces, still managing
to avoid acknowledgment of each others existence, even though they spend 90 minutes
of every morning, sitting intimately close to one another.
Later on November 21st
The chap sat behind me keeps saying
'Oooo you bugger', each time the bus goes over a speed hump.
Even later on November 21st
Just spent my return journey sat next to
the most brilliantly bonkers woman (in her own admission). Covering topics from
trouser lengths and memory loss, to wet wipes and sniffer dogs. The age old
debate of powder verses liquid in yer washing machine, and of course, the
ubiquitous bad smell on a bus arrose (literally and conversationally). She alighted
the bus, chastising the driver for going too slow and said it was nice talking
to me. Which is exactly what she did, talk TO me. Brilliant!
November 22nd
Delays, Diversions and Cancellations are
the headline acts performing at Derby train station today. Grrrrr.
November 24th
Following the best ever, fun-filled,
fabulously cram-packed weekend; this train journey is comparatively dull. The
electric door which is indecently opening and closing, for its own
entertainment, also agrees.
November 25th
'I have an arse hole that looks better
than your face,' was the delightful welcome from one bus driver to another this
morning.
November 28th
Tips for bus passengers: If you do not
wish for a stranger to sit so intimately close that there's danger of being
sucked up into their colon, via their sweaty arse cheeks. Just cough or sneeze
or blow yer nose and you can enjoy that seat which you chose, all to yourself.
November 30th
Unusual night sky over Derby this eve.
