On the November November

November 5th

Scandal: The Red Arrow bus has gone up in price by £1, for the second time this year!..and it doesn't even fly!

November 6th

Breaking Bus News; Chocolate Wheato's causing a disturbance on the A52. Fellow passengers have reported a rumbling tummy from an adult commuter who regrets eating a child's breakfast cereal!

November 7th

Bus tragedy; As I arrive a second behind time, the bus door shuts and the driver reverses with a disapproving shake of the head and a tutt in his teeth. I am not angry. I am simply disappointed. I have let down, not only myself, but a whole nation...oh here's another bus, I'll get on that one.

November 8th

In Today's Bus News; Passenger has a detailed conversation with a labrador who appears to be disinterested.

Later on November 8th

Back on the bus after alighting it, only 7 hours ago. I fear the bus driver may think I'm stalking him.

November 9th  

Bus window observation; Police helicopter hovers over a field where the cows appear to be auditioning for Madame Tussauds.

Later on November 9th

Evening bus report; Prospective passenger endures unplanned exercise, later realising she was chasing after the wrong red bus.

November 12th

Replacement bus!

November 13th

Pedests = Pedestrian Pests; Jayne's Busford Dictionary description of those who waste time by hailing the bus and quizzing the driver for in-depth route & ticket price information, then after leisurely mulling it over, rudely alight with the response 'No thank you, I'll wait for the other bus,'...not acceptable behaviour.

November 14th  

Bus inquiry: Passenger ponders quite how the windows of the purple bus became so steamed up. Secret messages of 'helo' and 'dik ed' appear as the heaters blow into action. Possible alien invasion!

November 15th

Come on bus, don't be shy, three have gone by in the opposite direction so why aren't I sitting in the warm by now? - ode to a bus

November 19th

Stylishly scoffing chips & curry sauce on the bus. Meals on wheels?

November 20th  

Dear Pronto, Please explain the reasoning behind providing a ten minute service that then takes a half hour break at 7.25am? Do you require breakfast at this time? Or a story followed by a short nap on the carpet? Do you get cramp in your tires? If I can be of any assistance in helping you on your way, please do let me know.

November 21st

Purse - check. Keys - check. Umbrella - check. Suncream...the Great British weather!

November 23rd

Words overheard on the bus; 'I've been thinking about growing a third boob.' - Fascinating

November 27th

I'm being despatched to Mansfield again

November 28th

According to the Metro being read by the person in front; the Government have introduced a new tax on having Fun. Anyone found to be having Fun and failing to declare their income of Fun will be prosecuted. Anyone caught having Fun, which includes anything from a slight smile to, laughing, clapping hands and doing the birdie dance; more than three times a week, will be round up and shot.

November 29th

Don't fart on my bus!...Dirty!