March 4th
Chaos on the trains this morning! A
muffled announcement about a landslide between Chesterfield and Sheffield
caused a stampede of passengers, to burst out of the automatic doors and clamber
up the platform. Only to return, seconds later, following a train managers
whistle.
March 9th
An early Sunday morning outburst on the
train just made everyone spit their coffee with laughter. Disgruntled man
standing and pleading to the better nature of the owner of a very loud message
alert. 'Have some common courtesy to your fellow man'
March 11th
Lady on the train talking in great
detail about how much breast milk she can produce, to a bemused looking man in
a suit.
Moments later on March 11th
Said man in suit has just answered his
phone when it didn't even ring and is now conducting a fake conversation.
March 12th
Someone's farted in the vestibule.
There's only seven of us and it's not me, so that narrows it down to six.
Bearded man with fold-away bike looks guilty. Smartly dressed woman with
incongruous trainers looks amused.
March 13th
People who speak on hands free devices,
whilst waiting at the Pelican Crossing, are often unaware of the sheer volume
and pitch of their voice; sharing their business with fellow pedestrians. Being
a nosy crow myself, this does not annoy.
March 14th
Train delayed due to 'over capacity of
the bike compartment.' This is a new one.
Return journey on March 14th
Sat in the shiny shoe section of the
train. Some of the people in suits are looking disapprovingly at my unpolished
pumps.
March 15th
The sun is out and I'm on a bus. Let
window wars commence.
March 16th
The upbeat seventies disco tunes,
protruding from huge speakers at the bus station, is quite incongruous to the
facial expressions of most of this morning's commuters.
Later on March 16th
There is a child on the bus who is
proudly picking his nose, inspecting the snotty deposit between his finger and
thumb, before popping it into his mouth. Now, I'm all for recycling however,
this re-direction of bodily fluid is somewhat disturbing.
March 17th
The bus driver who looks remarkably like
Noddy Holder has disappointingly shaved all his hair off, to which end, he no
longer looks like Noddy Holder. *sad face*
March 18th
Train Manager announces his sincere
apologies for the absence of coach H this morning. Where has he left it? He has
his keys and his phone, so where is coach H?
March 20th
My kind offer to 'hold it for you', was
misunderstood by the distressed man who was denied his ablutions, due to the
toilet door failing to lock. He looked shocked, giggled and declined. Three
other men have since inspected it. In fear of further confusion, I shall NOT be
offering to hold the toilet door anymore.
March 21st
A man just drove by the bus stop, pulling a wheelie on
a Moped, as a woman toddled past wearing red stilettos, with a walking stick.
Observing oddness.
March 22nd
As I alighted the bus and thanked the
Driver, he wished me good luck...not quite sure what to make of that. He
himself seemed a little confused.
March 24th
The sharp tones from buffet cart
announcements appear to be threatening the passengers with 'TEA & COFFEE',
as a purchase of punishment, rather than pleasure.
March 26th
Apparently, if you are on a train to
London, and you are wearing a suit, and you are a man, you never have to say,
'excuse me'.
Return journey on March 26th
The rude man from this morning's train
is now standing, seat-less, with his pin stripes delicately tucked into the
front flap of his Hushpuppies.
March 27th
I hate being breathed on by strangers.
Not sure what it is about queues for delayed public transport; people seem to
feel it's acceptable to huff and puff their disdain and disgust at each other.
Later on March 27th
This train now has its own orchestra of
coughs.
March 31st
Train Manager checking we're all awake
this morning - 'Welcome to the 8.19 East Midlands Train from Narnia, calling at
Leicester and London St Pancras only.'
Later on March 31st
Afore mentioned Train Manager is now
using his tannoy announcements to try out his best accents.
