Days of December

December 5^th

I just weaved my way through what I thought was a crowd. It actually turned out to be a choir. My advice would be to sing louder and stand a bit closer together.

December 13^th

I just said 'thank you' as the train manager checked my ticket. His response was, 'good girl', and he slapped a hand over his mouth with embarrassment and confusion. It was a bit like when you were at school and you called your teacher 'mum' infront of the whole class.

December 14^th

I have only just realised that, in the song Faith, George Michael isn't actually singing 'I reconsider my Buddhist notion'.

December 15^th

Santa's waiting outside Derby Bus Station. Happen his Reindeers charge double time on a Sunday.

Later on December 15^th

The mumble-er behind me keeps saying 'fur ball', after clearing his throat.

Post bus journey, December 15^th

Eating my 'kids tea' and the potato waffles just pushed some beans off the edge of the plate. Slightly reminiscent of the 2p machines at Skeggy.

December 16^th

Surreptitiously scanning the bus to see who's shit themsens.

December 17^th

Nice pigeon shelf in Manchester.

December 18^th

The Train Manager has a Christmas Tree ticket puncher. How very festive.

December 20^th

Apparently, my train has to take a compulsory, diversionary route!

December 20^th on a second train

On quite an empty train, I just noticed in the corner of my eye, a lady sat on the luggage shelf.

Further down the line on December 20^th

I snitched on some rascals having a cheeky ciggy in the vestibule and instantly felt like a big fat party pooper. However, they've just been caught pinching beers off the bottom of the hostess trolley, so I guess they've pissed on their own strawberries.

December 25^th

Merry Christmas one and all, especially to those on public transport today, our thoughts are with you.

December 26^th

No buses. No trains. Nice taxi.

December 30^th

Jayne's travel predictions for 2014: Development of a high-speed Sleeper Train which gets you from bed to bathroom in 0.3 seconds. A new vertical twist on the bendy bus creating a quadruple decker. Tele-transportation which transports body (minus of mind and spirit) from Derby to Mansfield in less than 3 hours.

December 31^st

It appears that it is appropriate to share a round up of 2013, it being New Years Eve. So to self-perpetuate my re-occuring theme, here is mine; I spent almost 900 hours on public transport. The End.